How to Overcome Life’s Challenges and Shift from Survival Mode to Growth

A few years ago, I found myself in a rut. From the outside, everything seemed fine… I had a beautiful home, a supportive partner, and two wonderful kids. By all accounts, I should have been happy. But deep down, I felt unfulfilled. It was as if I was just going through the motions, waiting for something… someone… to come along and fix whatever was missing.

I blamed my circumstances for how I felt. I convinced myself that my partner should be doing more, that life was unfair, and that if I just had more help or support, I would finally feel at peace. I was stuck in this loop of frustration and resentment, waiting for an external force to change my life instead of realising that I had the power to change it.

That waiting game was exhausting. Every day felt like a repeat of the last, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that life was happening to me rather than for me. I wasn’t making intentional choices… I was just reacting to everything around me. And the more I waited, the more powerless I felt.

Then, one day, I hit a breaking point. I remember sitting on the couch, scrolling mindlessly on my phone while the dining table was a mess, the kids’ toys were splayed everywhere, and my kids were pulling at me for attention. I felt drained, frustrated, and honestly, invisible… like I was just existing for everyone else.

I kept thinking, Why does no one see how much I do? Why isn’t anyone stepping in to help me? But then, almost like a switch flipped, another thought hit me: What if the change I’m waiting for isn’t coming? What if I have to create it myself?

At that moment, I realized I had been waiting for permission… permission to prioritise myself, to take control of my time, to build something beyond the daily cycle of responsibilities. But no one was going to hand that to me. I had to take it.

So, I started small. Instead of waiting for my partner to notice I was overwhelmed, I communicated my needs clearly and asked for support. Instead of feeling stuck in my routine, I carved out 10 minutes a day just for me… whether that was journaling, stretching, or simply sitting in silence with a cup of coffee before the chaos began.

I started saying no to things that drained me. I made decisions instead of second-guessing myself. And slowly, I stopped seeing life as something that was happening to me and started seeing it as something I could shape.

This wasn’t an overnight transformation. Some days, I slipped back into old patterns. But each time, I reminded myself: No one is coming to save me. I am the one who has to make the change. And with every intentional choice, I felt more in control, more empowered, and more alive than I had in years.

If you’ve ever felt stuck, waiting for something or someone to change your circumstances, I want you to know this: You don’t have to wait. You have more power than you think. The moment you decide to take ownership of your life, everything shifts.

The Real Reason You’re Struggling

There are three different mindsets we can be in when it comes to how we see life and how we handle challenges. Each one shapes the way we experience our day-to-day struggles and determines whether we stay stuck or step into our power. Let’s break them down.

Mindset 1: Life Happens to Me

This mindset feels like you’re constantly at the mercy of your circumstances. You wake up feeling like you’re just waiting for the next thing to go wrong. You might think:
✔ Why does this always happen to me?
✔ I just can’t catch a break.
✔ No matter what I do, things never seem to get better.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. When you’re in this mindset, it can feel like life is against you, like you’re stuck in a cycle of never-ending struggles. Maybe you blame outside forces for how you feel… whether it’s your partner not helping enough, your kids’ behaviour stressing you out, or just feeling like life is unfair.

It’s exhausting because you feel like you have no control. You’re constantly reacting to what life throws at you instead of shaping your own path. And the worst part? The longer you stay in this mindset, the more powerless you feel.

I know this feeling well because I used to live in this space. Every little thing felt like an uphill battle, and I truly believed I had no say in how my life played out. I was waiting for something external to change before I could feel better. But the truth is, nothing changes if we don’t change first.

Mindset 2: Life Happens for Me

This is the mindset where you start to believe that everything happens for a reason… even if you can’t see it yet. Instead of feeling like life is against you, you begin to see challenges as opportunities for growth.

You start asking yourself:
✔ What’s the lesson in this?
✔ How is this helping me grow?
✔ What can I take from this experience to make me stronger?

This shift doesn’t mean life suddenly becomes easy. But when you’re in this mindset, you stop seeing struggles as punishment and start seeing them as part of your journey.

Let’s say your plans fall apart or you face a setback in something you were working toward. Instead of thinking, Of course, this happens to me, you pause and ask, What can I learn from this? Maybe it’s teaching you patience. Maybe it’s guiding you in a different, better direction.

This mindset creates space for trust… trust that even the hard moments serve a purpose. And when you trust that life is happening for you instead of to you, it lightens the emotional burden you’re carrying.

Mindset 3: Life Happens because of Me

This is the ultimate shift. This is where you take full ownership of your choices, actions, and results. You no longer feel like life is something that happens to you… you realise that you’re the one shaping it every single day.

Instead of asking Why is this happening to me? or even What’s the lesson here?… you start asking:
✔ What can I do to create the change I want?
✔ How can I take responsibility for my response to this situation?
✔ What actions can I take to create the life I truly desire?

This mindset is the most empowering because it’s where you stop waiting for circumstances to change and start making things happen. You acknowledge that while you can’t control everything, you can control your attitude, your energy, and the way you show up in the world.

For example, if you’re unhappy with where you are, you don’t just sit with that frustration… you take action. Maybe you set boundaries, communicate your needs more clearly, start a new routine, or prioritise yourself in ways you never have before.

This is where you move from reacting to creating. And that’s where real transformation happens.

If you’re feeling stuck, I encourage you to reflect on this: Which mindset are you living in right now? Be honest with yourself.

Making the Shift: From Powerless to Ownership

If you’ve been feeling stuck in a Life Happens to Me mindset, you might wonder… how do I actually shift out of this? How do I move from feeling like life is against me to feeling like I have a say in how things unfold?

The key is seeing challenges as invitations to grow rather than roadblocks keeping you stuck. This is where you transition into the Life Happens for Me mindset.

Instead of thinking, Why is this happening to me? you start asking, What is this teaching me? You begin to recognise that even in hard moments, there’s something valuable to take away. Maybe it’s patience, maybe it’s strength, maybe it’s a new direction you wouldn’t have considered otherwise.

This isn’t about ignoring hardships or pretending everything is fine. It’s about shifting your perspective so that challenges become stepping stones rather than stopping points. When you embrace this mindset, you begin to feel less like a victim of your circumstances and more like an active participant in your life.

But let’s take it one step further.

Moving from Life Happens for Me to Life Happens Because of Me requires a deeper level of action. It’s not just about learning the lesson… it’s about using that lesson to create meaningful change.

This is where you stop asking, What’s the lesson? and start asking, What can I create from this? You step beyond reflection and into intentional action.

In an ownership mindset, you’re no longer waiting for things to happen… you’re making them happen. You take full responsibility for your choices, your habits, your energy, and the way you show up. Instead of passively hoping that life will improve, you take steps to improve it.

For example, let’s say you’re constantly overwhelmed by your daily responsibilities. In a Life Happens to Me mindset, you might think, I have too much on my plate, and no one helps me. In a Life Happens for Me mindset, you might shift to, This is teaching me that I need to set better boundaries. But in a Life Happens Because of Me mindset, you go one step further: I’m going to start delegating tasks, setting clear expectations, and making time for myself… because I have the power to do that.

So ask yourself today: What’s one area of my life where I’m ready to take ownership? And more importantly, What’s one small action I can take right now to move forward?

Your life isn’t just something you experience… it’s something you create. It’s time to step into that power.

Practical Steps to Shift Into an Ownership Mindset

Now that we’ve talked about the power of shifting from Life Happens to Me to Life Happens Because of Me, let’s dive into the actionable steps you can take to actually make this shift in your daily life. Because awareness is important… but real transformation happens when you take action.

Here are four simple but powerful practices to help you step into your power and start creating the life you want:

1. Record Daily Wins

One of the fastest ways to break free from a powerless mindset is to recognize the ways you’re already creating change… because you are, even if you don’t realise it yet.

At the end of each day, write down one thing that went well. It doesn’t have to be something huge. Maybe you handled a stressful moment with patience. Maybe you finally took five minutes for yourself. Maybe you communicated a need instead of bottling it up.

This small habit shifts your focus from what’s going wrong to what’s going right—and that’s incredibly powerful. Over time, you’ll start to see that you are making progress, that you are influencing your reality, and that you do have the ability to create change.

2. Ask Empowering Questions

The questions you ask yourself shape the way you experience challenges. Instead of asking disempowering questions like:
❌ Why is this happening to me?
❌ Why does nothing ever go my way?

Start asking questions that put you back in control:
✔ What’s one thing I can do right now to make this situation a little better?
✔ What’s one small choice I can make to move forward?

When you shift your questions, you shift your mindset. You stop focusing on what’s out of your control and start focusing on what is. And that’s where your power lies.

3. Take One Small Ownership Action

You don’t have to overhaul your life overnight. But you do need to start somewhere.

Pick one area where you feel stuck (just one) and take one small action to shift it. It could be:
➡ Setting a boundary with someone who drains your energy.
➡ Asking for help instead of trying to do it all alone.
➡ Making time for yourself without guilt, even if it’s just five minutes.

Small actions create momentum. The more you take, the more in control you’ll feel… and that’s how you reclaim your power.

4. Practice Acceptance

A huge part of stepping into an ownership mindset is knowing what you can control and what you can’t. Not everything is in your power… and that’s okay.

Acceptance isn’t about giving up. It’s about freeing yourself from the mental drain of resisting things you can’t change, so you have the energy to focus on what you can.

Ask yourself: Am I spending more energy fighting reality than creating change? If the answer is yes, it’s time to practice letting go… so you can start taking real, meaningful action where it actually matters.

Step Into Your Power… One Small Win at a Time

When you start seeing challenges as opportunities for growth, shift your focus to what is working, and take small, intentional actions within your control, you begin to move from feeling powerless to feeling empowered.

This shift doesn’t happen overnight, but the more you practice, the more natural it becomes. You start to realize that you’re not just a passive observer of your life… you’re an active creator. You’re making choices every day, even in the smallest moments, that shape your reality.

Maybe you’ve spent years waiting for the perfect circumstances to start prioritising yourself. Maybe you’ve believed that once things calm down, then you’ll feel more in control. But what if that moment never comes? What if right now is the time to reclaim your power?

When you stop waiting and start noticing the ways you already are moving forward, something shifts. You begin to trust yourself again. You recognize that even the hardest days hold moments of progress. And when you see that, you realise you’re capable of so much more than you’ve given yourself credit for.

So take a second right now and think: What’s one thing you did today that felt like a win? It doesn’t have to be big. Maybe you set a boundary. Maybe you showed yourself compassion. Maybe you simply made it through a tough moment. Whatever it is, it counts.

Hit reply and share it with me… I’d love to celebrate with you.

And if you’re ready for deeper support in shifting your mindset and finding clarity beyond motherhood, follow me on Instagram @east2westmama and check out my resources linked in my bio.

You’re more powerful than you think. Keep going. 💛